


Engraved

by TotalFanFreak



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drabble, Euthanasia, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Pet, Reid/Reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 23:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7484715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotalFanFreak/pseuds/TotalFanFreak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was to the prompt - Imagine Hotch or Reid comforting you after putting your dog to sleep...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Engraved

Engraved  
Title: Engraved  
Author: totalfanfreak  
Rating: K+ (borders on T for brief description of affliction to pet)  
Prompt/Summary: Imagine Hotch or Reid comforting you after putting your pet down: http://66.media.tumblr.com/815d3eec6aedabb785422a53c1d3870c/tumblr_nffi56Yt8V1tmutn3o1_1280.png  
Main Character(s): Spencer/ You  
Trigger Warning: mentions of death, grief, afflictions to animal  
Word Count:  
Beta/Editor: me  
Multishot: no  
Author’s Notes: I wasn’t really planning on doing this one, I’d skim through the prompts and always skip this one. And then my pom that I’ve had for 12 years was not able to continue on. It hurts, and I can see from a perspective that it would be good to have someone there for you during it. I was lucky and had my family, but it’s good to have someone within our imaginations as well.  
Morgan arc spoilers?: nope 

You were exhausted, there could be no sleep right now. You were laying on the floor curled in the pet bed with your dog. A beautiful mix, her hair used to be do fluffy and shiny, now dulled and in clumps. She was staring straight ahead into nothing, something she’d been doing for days. And though you told her it was okay for her to run off to whatever she saw, she clung here. In pain, you knew there had to be pain, she couldn’t take the medicine the vet gave anymore, she couldn’t swallow her tongue turning black from the dehydration. But you thought you could solve that problem by cleaning out a medicine syringe and squirting cool water in her mouth. It only wet her tongue, a white foamy mess coming out with the water.

You’d have to call into work, there was no way you could leave her here on her own. There was no way you could go into a place where you have had to shoot down bad guys and was now afraid to take your dog somewhere to find the peace she deserved. You could imagine the looks you’d get.

“It’s just a dog, Y/N.”

or

“Y/N, she’s in pain, why would you keep her suffering like that?”

or worse

“That’s selfish, Y/N. You could help her but you won’t let go.”

No, it was hard for you to let go. This was your baby, the one thing that kept you company through the lonely days of moving to Virginia, that set her head on your knee, brown eyes sparkling as if saying you’re doing a great job, but I could really use a snack. How could something so vivacious, so alive just slowly putter to a halt? Another sob racked through your chest. You knew tonight was a goodbye, you couldn’t let her go through this anymore. All the vets said it was pointless, saying she was very old, that this was nature. Only prescribing things for pain, and anxiety. As dawn lit it’s way through the curtains, you rose to rinse off and call your Hotch. Hoping to gain the composure you needed, between the shower and the phone.

You were doing your best to not cry in front of your dog, reading that they could pick up on the discomfort. So you sobbed in the shower, letting tears mingle with the rushing water. You felt a little more alert and calm when you emerged. Calling work you explained there was a personal matter to clear up, yes, you’d come in early tomorrow to finish the correct paperwork for the previous case. Thank you, I hope everything works out okay too. Bye.

With those formalities completed you called the one vet you trusted using her since day one for your sweet puppy, how was it such a short time ago when she was bouncing around and skidding on linoleum floors? The appointment was booked for four o'clock, it gave you time to say goodbye for a little longer. You went back to where everything was stationed, your dog still staring ahead, but now sitting up.

“Hey girl, how about we sit outside, let the warm sun on us for a little bit, sound good?”

There was no usual bark in reply, no jumping, nothing. Your lip trembled, turning away to set up a blanket in one of the chairs on the balcony. You knew she couldn’t really walk anymore, she’d amble place to place but you knew it hurt her. Scooping her up, you gasped at how light she was, though you knew, it was always a stunning revelation each time you had to move her. Sitting yourselves up you let her look up at the sunrise, you scooting the chair as close as possible wrapping you arms around the frail fame, the familiar smell of fur lulling you to something you hadn’t had in days, restful sleep.

It was the banging on the door that jerked you awake. Lifting up you saw your pet had lain down but was still gazing out steadily. Though her ears had slightly perked by the intrusive noise.

“Hold on!”

You whisper shouted the best you could not wanting to disturb the calm atmosphere you were trying to keep. Wrenching the door open, you saw your colleague, Spencer Reid, standing out in the hall with coffee clutched in his hand. “What are you doing here, Reid?”

Spencer blinked a few times before commenting. “Um, Hotch sent me to give you these files so you could do them later and bring them in, in the morning. I also brought you some coffee.”

“I told Hotch I’d do them in the morning.”

“Yeah, Strauss is needing them by ten in the morning tomorrow so he thought he’d send them out to you today.”

“Fine, I’ll have them done by then. Look, Reid, I got to go. Thanks for bringing it to me.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Yes. Now if I could back to it.”

You hadn’t meant to say it so harshly, seeing Spencer wince, and take a step back. “Y/N?”

He had noticed it too, you always tried to go out of your way to be nice to him, the sudden outburst very distinct from your usual behavior. But those doe eyes of his were reminding you too much of the one who was waiting for you on the balcony. Running a hand down your face, you sighed.

“I’m sorry, Reid. I took a personal day today. It’s not been an easy for the past few weeks I just need to be alone for a while.”

“B-but what’s wrong? Maybe I could help.”

A sarcastic laugh escaped you, tears stinging the corner of your eyes again. “No one can help. Please.”

“Y/N, please tell me what’s wrong, you’re scaring me.”

You covered your mouth, obstructing the gasping sob that was threatening to spill. You stepped out of the way, letting Spencer come in the apartment. As he entered you pointed the the windowed door letting out to the balcony, seeing your dog propped back up again.

“She’s been going downhill so fast, there’s nothing to help her, I-I’m going to have to have her put to sleep later on today. I just wanted to spend some time with her before then.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

Spencer had been to your house on several dozen occasions, as well as generally hanging out, and a majority of that time your dog spent that time with you both. She had taken to Spencer after the second visit, though he had cheated and given her food from his takeout container. Sometimes you believed he came over just to see your dog, so in a way, you knew this hurt him too.

“It’s not your fault, Spencer. All the vets say she’s old, the cycle of life and all that.”

With his name being said he reached out to you and you leaned into the crook of his arm, crying softly. After a few minutes you pulled back, wiping the moisture with the back of your hand.

“Thank you for that, it’s been hard.”

“I can’t imagine, so this is what you’ve been doing every weekend these past few weeks?”

You nodded, each time you got off from a case or had a day off you dismissed any invitation of going out, and immediately picked your dog up from the vet’s kennel and went home.

“There still some time left, I’m going to head back outside and sit with her before we leave.”

“I’m going with you.”

The blunt statement took you by surprise and repressed you from objecting instead walking past and heading out, letting Spencer have reign of the kitchen. She was whimpering lightly now, and you reache out to gently stroke her. “It’s okay, you’ll get to go to sleep soon, it’ll be okay.”

You raised her onto your lap, kissing her muzzle. You began humming to her, when you heard footsteps. “I was going to fix us something, but there’s nothing really in your fridge.”

You grunted in acknowledgement, you hadn’t really bought anything since you got back, and it was usually takeaway that filled your fridge anyways. But each time you got the urge to eat or were thirsty, there she was looking at you making those sounds indicating, oh, how she wished she could. It had been a few days since either of you kept anything down and you were reluctant to even try today.

“You haven’t been eating have you?”

“How can I, Spencer? When she can’t.”

Spencer chose to sit down next to you both. Trying to take as little space as possible. You did your best to smile and urge him closer. Letting your dog know that others were here with her and that she is loved. Spencer reached out and tenderly scratched behind her ears, his winning move with her. She seemed to sigh from the contact. You made you relax, and the three of you sat that way for a good amount of time.

Looking up at the clock you swallowed hard. “I guess we should get going, are you sure you want to go, Spencer? There’s no need for it, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m going, Y/N.”

You shrugged, gathering your dog’s favorite toy and blanket, letting Spencer carry her to the car. He actually sat back there with her, stroking her, whispering to her to keep her calm. Your eyes locked in the mirror, and you smiled your thanks.

Pulling up in front of the vet, you let Spencer wrap the blanket around her, and carry her inside. Being called, you realized this was it and you weren’t sure you could do it. “How can I do this, Spencer? How can I kill her?”

“You’re not killing her, Y/N, time is doing that. You’re just easing her suffering.”

You put your face in his shoulder, reaching out for your dog. Adjusting the weight, you turned back to Spencer. “Thank you, Spencer, I should be out soon.”

The tears were threatening to come, and you wondered how many of the people waiting knew what you were doing. How many people tsked that you didn’t take care of your dog, or that what you were doing was cruel. You held on to what Spencer said, hoping he was right. The room was warmer than the rest of the office, and your legs trembled when the vet entered.

“Hi there, Y/N. I would ask how you’re doing but I can guess. It’ll be alright, you’ll see, with her quality of life at such a decline this may be the best option, if you’re ready, I’ll have the tech come in with the sedative. It’ll ease her to sleep and you can be with her to say goodbye.”

“And then what?”

The vet blinked. “Well, when the sedative is absorbed we will the administer the barbiturate it’ll be like anesthesia, but she just…won’t wake up. Then we’ll let you decide if you’d like to take her home to bury her or if you’d like us to cremate her.”

That was easy, there was place to bury her out in your apartment complex. Cremation would be the best option there, you could bring her home, just in a different form.

“Okay.”

The lab tech was a perky girl, who couldn’t have been twenty, how could someone so young look at such innocent deaths all day? It didn’t seem thesible to you. And you watched her scrunch through the fur and find a place to inject her. You baby barely flinching as the drug was plunged in her. In less than five minutes her eyes drooped, her eyes relenting to the exhaustion and let herself go to sleep. You cried, tasting the salt falling as you leaned over to her. She finally looked peaceful the sleep taking hold. It’s not fair, and you began to shake your body stiffening as sadness washed through you. You were blind to everything, only lashing out when a hand rested on your shoulder.

“Spencer? You’re not supposed to be back here.”

“The nurse said you were having trouble, and may need someone with you.”

“I don’t want her to go.”

“I know, but sometimes, when you love something enough, you realize that’s the best thing to do.”

You nodded, silently crying, with Spencer rubbing small circles on your back. You let yourself be engulfed by him, keeping your forehead on your dog’s when the nurse gave the second injection. It was a steady stream when her breaths that were already uneven slow and decease. You turned into Spencer’s arms.

“She’s gone!”

He nodded, and you saw tears marking his own cheeks when he rested his head on yours. The rest was a blur, giving instructions to pick up her ashes, filling out the documents, and letting Spencer take you home. He had offered to stay, but you declined. You already imposed enough on him, and he had been so wonderful for that. But you just wanted to sleep, sleep and let everything scab over.

It didn’t feel that long, but the clock said different, realizing it had been almost a day and a half when that damn knocking started again. Traces of your pet still scattered about, but no her, the hurt renewed.

“Spencer? Again?”

You had tried to be playful about it, Spencer’s mouth barely twitching in the corner.

“I knew it’d be hard for you today, so I thought I’d pick up the ashes for you.”

Looking at the box in Spencer’s hand in gasped. “Oh, Spencer, thank you.”

You held the box to your chest, you let Spencer come inside. “I know you’re going to think this is weird, but there was this option for it and you were so out of it I thought…”

“What is it, Spencer?”

He held up a heart shaped locket to you. “They put some of the ashes in here so you can carry them with you.”

“It’s beautiful, thank you.”

“It’s engraved, too.”

Turning it over, you saw he was right, the calligraphy writing out, forever here with you.

Looking up in Spencer brown eyes, you let your arms wrap around him, feeling him do the same to you.


End file.
